To celebrate Manchester United beating that ‘ orrible' Arsenal, oh, and because its Easter, but last and not least of all because dealers keep coming up with more and more ridiculous offers to bamboozle their clients, like, cash back if you buy this car at the over- inflated price, or ‘ no need to pay for the first six months, or my personal favourite, the mystery prize in the boot of one of the cars, [ always the car that has been in stock for 18 months, has been used as a delivery vehicle, customer courtesy car, and general hack ], Executive cars have a marvellous offer, never to be repeated again, an autumn special, an end of summer madness sale, a once in a lifetime offer due to the sales managers lift not being able to travel to the top floor, cos of him spending too much time listening to the clubbies who delight in finding fault in the cars they never buy anyway cos they like to trace the owners details from the registration number and go behind the dealers back. No, this is a bold offer, wait for it………….. we promise not to charge more than we think its worth, and, we will continue, during the sale period, to offer sound, candid advice, free of charge. We will also throw in our unsolicited opinion of the condition of the car as we perceive it. Now hold on you are saying, how can this be so, there must be a catch to it, how can we afford to do it ??? How can anyone not afford to do that is my question. Sometimes, in my darker moments, I begin to buy into the ‘ ignorance is bliss ‘ theory, that you must tell your clients what they want to hear not what they need to hear, but it is cast aside every time an old customer comes back for more, and they do with comforting regularity.

Finally, you will have noticed that this ad has moved to a new spot within the magazine, I hope you found it alright. It really was out of my control really. Due to the strengthening of the rand, or was it due to the unprecedented increase in the price of trees, advertising has become frightfully expensive, so I had to go from glossy to toilet paper in one fell swoop………………